Has someone you love been babbling about stupid crap, saying things like:

• The Earth is only 4000 years old.
• Evolution is a theory, and not rational to believe in.
• Homosexuality is a sin.
• The Bible is the word of God.

Or else they’ve been mysteriously waking up early and wasting their Sundays, generally saying that magic sky beings help them or that they must do work for ‘The Lord’, but are receiving no pay? Do they seem to totally misunderstand what ‘being dead’ means? Do they misinterpret simple events as ‘miracles’ as often as the ICP?

I’m afraid this person might have been possessed by the Holy Ghost, or the ‘spirit of Christ’. But don’t throw them to lions or nail them to crosses just yet. There is hope. You can exorcise this unwanted spirit out of them. There are three major methods:

1. The presentation of empirical facts.
2. A teaching of actual history.
3. Actually make them read parts of the Bible, especially Revelations.

I also recommend reading to them from the un-sacred texts of Kurt Vonnegut, especially Cat’s Cradle, Sirens of Titan and God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater. I do not recommend the questionable methods of Dawkins, Davidson, or Hitchins, who I believe have been possessed by ‘Dicks’.